It was when her lips touched the back of her baby’s neck that my heart swelled, and the tears came. The tenderness of it silently snuck in. A random moment of mothering that I am sure the mother (whom I don’t know) didn’t even really think twice about. She just was relishing, taking in the scent, the joy, the warmth of her little one in a spontaneous moment of stillness. It was pure, unconditional, centering, powerful, love.Read More
Lesson #2 Name the Ugly, Scary, and Hard
We do not like to talk about the hard stuff. The unsavory, the complex, the things that might
hurt, sting, offend, make messy, or confuse. It makes sense. For nearly a century, management practice has
scrubbed feelings out of the workplace as if they are dirty. But Bravespace workplaces are built upon the
recognition that feelings are essential elements work that we must work through together.
What does this mean for leaders? As always, leaders have to go first. For many of you this may make your palms sweat. What? I have to talk about my feelings? But I don’t like talking about the hard stuff anymore than my employees. Well, get used to it.
Lesson #1 Walk Your Talk
In my upcoming book (Bravespace Workplace: Making Your Company Fit for Human Life; Maven House Press; May 21, 2019) I define a bravespace workplace is one in which people can show up as they are, both worthy and flawed, and do great things together. Rather than being carte blanche for people to wear their bathrobes to work and blurt out their thoughts at the expense of others, being real at work means something completely different. What being real means is unique to each one of us. We know it in our gut when someone is showing up authentically, and we can sense when someone is faking it. No amount of reading, training, or degrees can guarantee that we’ll capably be true and real with others at work. This essential trait is a tricky one for leaders to land sometimes for leaders who read the books and go to classes and may unwittingly lose their way in being themselves while also leading.Read More
Okay, so, admittedly, I am not close friends with Glennon (Doyle). I do not drink tea with Brene’ (Brown). I’ve never shared a field with Abby (Wambach), walked the block with Bell (Hooks), played Pass the Pig with Oprah (Winfrey), or laughed out loud with Liz (Gilbert.) Yeah, sure I know some of them: Glennon amazingly endorsed my upcoming book—thank you @glennondoyle; I’m on Brene’s Dare to Lead™ team and after a session with her chatted about my cool boots and the work we would do together—thank you @brenebrown; Abby listened to my book read aloud by Glennon and Honey—I LOVED Wolfpack @abbywambach.) But really, I’m a superfan only—they do not know me from dust, although I sometimes fantasize that they feel me out here.Read More
I love men. As a heterosexual, CIS gendered, white woman, it has been part of my unconscious legacy to support, befriend, marry, work with, and raise boys and men.
And it’s my love of men that makes me scared for them. I am deeply troubled about the state of men today. This matters because as most of us know, any group can only move ahead as fast as its slowest member. What is real for me is that if men as a social identity group fail to thrive, it will impact all of us. I want to talk today about my own hard learning about what gender equity means in the truest sense.Read More
The idea started with a question from the team (Mei and Liz) about whether I would be doing book signings for Bravespace Workplace, my new book due out in May. I answered “Yes, I think so…”, while explaining that a modern “book tour” a’ la Michelle Obama is rarified air reserved for the very famous. Despite modest success with my first book, FIT Matters, I would have to make any tour happen due to my own effort, although my Publisher Maven House Press would be completely on Board.Read More
Do the rules you set for employees have rigid black and white boundaries? Is there any flex ever for unique situations? Do you take the time to really see and consider the needs of your most consistent performing employees, even though they may be atypical?Read More
I am tired of people I meet saying, “oh you are the one that helps people feel happy at work, right?, often when they see my book FIT Matters: How to Love Your Job or learn of my consulting practice. People often misinterpret my message to employers as trying to make people happy, as if it is a permanent state that we can create with a special trick or tool.Read More
The innocuous term “working mother,” descriptive of me for 22 years, still leaves me feeling pushed up against the wall, it’s metaphoric hand on my throat. Inherent in the expression is the profound double bind that I, and many (white*) women, feel at the exact intersection of two of the most vital roles of our lives.Read More
I learned a lot in graduate school. I remember endless case studies, readings, and practicums. I participated in countless dialogues and discussions. Much of what I learned all those years again shaped who I am and how I practice. But …Read More
I feel really mixed feelings about #metoo. Another colleague told me this week about her relief and gratitude at the #metoo phenomenon for bringing into the light of day the chronic gender harassment and bias women experience from men. And …Read More
The phrase “work-life balance” is such a croc. Maybe for a few (rare) people, the equation that adds up to harmonious unity between when and how they work and when and how they live is a lovely thing to behold. In my minds eye, these precious few have a life like this:Read More