Loving Men: Rethinking Women's Role in Defining Masculinity
I love men. As a heterosexual, CIS gendered, white woman, it has been part of my unconscious legacy to support, befriend, marry, work with, and raise boys and men.
And it’s my love of men that makes me scared for them. I am deeply troubled about the state of men today. This matters because as most of us know, any group can only move ahead as fast as its slowest member. What is real for me is that if men as a social identity group fail to thrive, it will impact all of us. I want to talk today about my own hard learning about what gender equity means in the truest sense.
DO you see me?
The idea started with a question from the team (Mei and Liz) about whether I would be doing book signings for Bravespace Workplace, my new book due out in May. I answered “Yes, I think so…”, while explaining that a modern “book tour” a’ la Michelle Obama is rarified air reserved for the very famous. Despite modest success with my first book, FIT Matters, I would have to make any tour happen due to my own effort, although my Publisher Maven House Press would be completely on Board.
Do the rules you set for employees have rigid black and white boundaries? Is there any flex ever for unique situations? Do you take the time to really see and consider the needs of your most consistent performing employees, even though they may be atypical?
I am tired of people I meet saying, “oh you are the one that helps people feel happy at work, right?, often when they see my book FIT Matters: How to Love Your Job or learn of my consulting practice. People often misinterpret my message to employers as trying to make people happy, as if it is a permanent state that we can create with a special trick or tool.
Just Two Questions
The innocuous term “working mother,” descriptive of me for 22 years, still leaves me feeling pushed up against the wall, it’s metaphoric hand on my throat. Inherent in the expression is the profound double bind that I, and many (white*) women, feel at the exact intersection of two of the most vital roles of our lives.
#metoo–We Have to Talk About the Nuance
I learned a lot in graduate school. I remember endless case studies, readings, and practicums. I participated in countless dialogues and discussions. Much of what I learned all those years again shaped who I am and how I practice. But …
Balance is a Croc
I feel really mixed feelings about #metoo. Another colleague told me this week about her relief and gratitude at the #metoo phenomenon for bringing into the light of day the chronic gender harassment and bias women experience from men. And …
Suicide and Mental Health: What Role Does Workplace Play?
The phrase “work-life balance” is such a croc. Maybe for a few (rare) people, the equation that adds up to harmonious unity between when and how they work and when and how they live is a lovely thing to behold. In my minds eye, these precious few have a life like this:
What Mary Tyler Moore Taught Me About Work
We have a real problem with people killing themselves. Oregon, where I live, ranks the 13th Statein terms of suicide rates with rates of depression in adults in our County ranging from 25-30%. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for Oregonians ages 15-34 and suicide rates among those 45-64 have risen by 50 % in recent years.
Anyone who knows me is aware that I am not presently a huge fan of television. But as a kid, I watched a lot of it! We used to make popcorn and sit on the floor, pajama-clad, mesmerized right in front of the TV. When I was a pre-teen, The Mary Tyler Moore Show taught me all about the world of working women by being an entertaining and exquisitely written show. With the television icon’s recent death, I find myself thinking often about how seminal her influence was, and how grateful I am for the sitcom that ran from 1970-1977 and streamed into my living room on Saturday nights for almost a decade very near bedtime.